The True Desires: How to Separate "What You Want" from "What the World Wants for You"

In today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly bombarded with messages, advertisements, and social media that tell us what we should want, what success looks like, and how we should live our lives. This external noise can make it hard to differentiate between our true desires and those shaped by the world around us. The reality is, many of the things we think we want are not truly ours; they are reflections of the external world’s influence. In this blog, we’ll explore how external influences shape our desires and offer methods to regain control over our life goals. By doing so, we can move toward a path that aligns with our authentic desires and find genuine happiness.

How External Influences Shape Our Desires

It’s not hard to see how the world outside of us molds our desires. From the moment we wake up, we are exposed to a world of possibilities through social media, our friends, family, and even advertisements. These outside forces communicate what we should be striving for—whether it’s a perfect body, a prestigious job, or a lavish lifestyle. But are these things truly what we want, or are they just reflections of what society has taught us to value?

We are all influenced by external standards of success. We observe people in our social circles, celebrities, and influencers and start to internalize their achievements as the benchmarks for happiness. Over time, this creates a disconnect between what we truly want and what the world has conditioned us to want. We start to chase after things that may look appealing on the surface, but in the end, they often leave us feeling unfulfilled.

This is a natural human tendency, but it’s essential to be aware of how much external forces shape our lives. The key is learning how to distinguish between desires that are genuinely ours and those that are merely the result of outside influences. 

How to Overcome External Influences on Your Desires

1. Practice Self-Awareness

The first step in finding your true desires is self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. When you experience the urge to buy something, take on a new project, or adopt a new lifestyle, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Why do I want this?”

Is this desire coming from within, or is it a reaction to something you’ve seen, heard, or been influenced by? By practicing self-awareness, you can start to distinguish between the desires that are genuinely yours and the ones that are external projections.

2. Spend Time Alone in Reflection

In a world filled with distractions, it’s easy to lose touch with what you truly want. Spending time alone in quiet reflection can help you reconnect with yourself. This might mean taking long walks in nature, journaling, or meditating. Solitude allows you to hear your own inner voice without the constant interference of external messages.

During these moments of reflection, ask yourself questions like:

• What makes me feel fulfilled?
• What excites me?
• What are my passions, and what gives me a sense of purpose?

The more time you spend with yourself, the easier it will be to tune out the noise and focus on what truly brings you joy.

3. Disconnect from Social Media and External Influences

One of the biggest culprits of external influence is social media. We scroll through Instagram, Facebook, etc. and see curated snapshots of other people's lives. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you should have what others have or live the way they live.

To regain control over your desires, try disconnecting from social media for a period of time. Give yourself space to breathe and think without the constant comparison. You might be surprised at how much clarity you gain once you remove the pressure of “keeping up” with the outside world.

4. Redefine Success on Your Own Terms

Success means different things to different people. For some, it’s having a high-paying job or an Instagram-worthy lifestyle. For others, it might be finding a sense of purpose through creative work, helping others, or simply living a peaceful, content life.

Take a step back and ask yourself what success looks like for you. Are you pursuing success based on someone else’s definition, or have you created your own?

To redefine success, start by setting personal goals that reflect your values and passions. Think about what truly makes you happy, not what others tell you should make you happy. Focus on internal growth and fulfillment, rather than external validation.

5. Embrace Minimalism

Minimalism is more than just decluttering (removing things to increase space) your home—it’s about simplifying your life and focusing on what truly matters. By removing excess distractions, you can create space for the things that genuinely bring you happiness. Whether it’s a hobby, a relationship, or simply time for yourself, minimalism helps you refocus on what’s important and eliminate the clutter of unnecessary desires.

6. Seek Guidance from Within (Intuition)

Your intuition is a powerful tool that can help you navigate the noise of the external world. It’s that quiet, inner voice that guides you toward decisions that feel right for you. Learning to trust your intuition takes practice, but it’s a powerful way to find your true desires.

When faced with a decision, tune into your gut feeling. Does the idea feel aligned with who you are and what you truly want? Trusting your intuition allows you to move away from the pressures of the world and focus on what’s truly important for your personal happiness.

Conclusion: True Happiness Comes from Within

The key to finding true happiness lies in small things like fulfilling desires that are genuinely ours. By practicing self-awareness, disconnecting from social media, and redefining success on our own terms, we can learn to focus on what really matters to us.

Remember, happiness is not a destination or something we can buy. It’s an internal journey, one that requires deep reflection, honesty with ourselves, and a commitment to living authentically. When you begin to follow your true desires and let go of external pressures, you will discover a more meaningful and fulfilling life, one that is shaped by your own passions, values, and aspirations and one day you will find people looking at you, wondering how are you so happy and successful.